1. Find a way to keep people of different age groups apart.  If you don't, the older people will take over and the younger people will leave because there's nothing for them.  There's always been and a generation gap, and there always will be.  Program around it, don't try to overcome it.  Nothing says everyone has to be in the same place all at the same time.

 
2. Help single people form small group relationships with their own gender.  They need a base of friends to support them through the pitfalls of finding a spouse.  But don't over do segregation and cut off their market access.

 
3. Write a statement of faith for the big issues, but don't use it to start a dictatorship.  Nobody will stand for someone else controlling their belief acquisition process.  It takes time to understand things and people want to figure it out for themselves.  You can help when they ask.

 
4. Look for people with ideas and help them experiment with implementation; that is, if they don't have "center of attention disorder."

 
5. Don't let leadership people stand around at the front door and make contact with everyone like some kind of check point that has to be navigated.  Give people some space to be anonymous if they want to be.

 
6. Very few people in the general population know how to sing, and the rest of them certainly don't want to make fools out of themselves trying to learn in public.  Present performed music as it becomes available rather than requiring people to sing when they're uncomfortable doing it.

 
7. Leadership positions have to change on some kind of schedule.  The church will turn into a personality cult if they don't.  The only people that you'll see after a while will be the ones who are comfortable with the leader.  And when there's any kind of disagreement, the ones without the authority will leave rather than be told what to do by someone they don't want to follow who's going to be in charge of everything forever.  And they may stay home for a full generation, waiting for someone to get out of the way.   Authority is the most addictive and divisive substance in the world.  Don't let it concentrate.

 
8. You don't have taxing authority.

 
9. Be sensitive to the kind of clothes that people are comfortable wearing.  Don't make them feel like they have to wear something else.

 
10. If you're in charge, be available, but never cross into someone's private zone without a clear invitation.

 

An oppressive authoritarian  power structure.  This means that leaders only give orders and no other people are allowed to question the orders or initiate ideas of their own.  Such leaders will actively suppress the ideas of others in order to preserve or increase their own authority.

No leadership accountability.  A person in charge can do as they please and no one else can have any influence.

The organization is in pyramid form.  The further down in the chain of command a person is, the less influence they have.

Leaders and their families are regarded as superior to everyone else.

Pressure to conform to the personal mannerisms and styles of those with the most authority.

Pressure to give first priority to the financial goals of the organization rather than on personal or family responsibilities.

Pressure to spend excessive amounts of time promoting the goals of the organization at the expense of personal responsibilities.

Distrust of anyone not under the authority of the organization.

Narrow philosophies suggesting that only this organization knows the right way to go.

Suppression of honest and open discussion about the actions and motives of those who are in charge of the organization.

Ostracism or prejudice directed at anyone who leaves the organization.